Out on the town with me partner-in-crime, featuring the heart surgery scar. I usually forget that it shows--it doesn't really bother me (much) (anymore).
In that the last entry was my half-finished heart surgery story, I figured I'd lead off the re-birth of "I Fierce" with a follow-up on that topic--photographic evidence that yes, that really happened and yes, I'm still alive. I remember The Scar being a big deal, heading into the hospital. I dreaded it--people around me were concerned--will there be a big scar? What will it look like? Will it go away? Will you hate it? Scar! Scarscarscarscar!
Well. I am happy to report that it bothered me almost not at all--even before the bandages came off I didn't care that The Scar was now a permanent part of the man in the mirror. I was so glad to still be alive and healthy that The Scar now shows up in public mostly as a badge of courage and a great conversation starter. At first, there were other things occupying my mind whenever the topic came up--the replacement for my bad heart valve is a human tissue graft from a donor. Far more disconcerting than the slender pink line bisecting my chest were bigger questions--who was he? What was he like? What happened to him? Finding out along the way that the donor was most likely someone of my same general age and weight, I could only assume he had met with an untimely demise; and that my first order of business would be to live each day to its fullest, to honor this most generous of all gifts. It can't help but make you a better person--sometimes I wonder, when I'm having a moment that's not one of my finest--what would my anonymous donor think of the life he's now a part of--is he somewhere looking at me going "wow, what an *sshole," or is he pleased with the man his past life has merged with... Even if none of these questions matter, the fact is, it does give me an ideal to live up to, more tangible than ever before in my life.
So anyway, yes, alive and kicking. I don't really recall what my purposes were in creating this blog almost 2 years ago; at this point it's still a concept in development. It may one day end up a major player on the world stage, or it may remain of interest only to those who know me. Kind of like my life itself.
Stay tuned.
